You and I are meant to be…

….friends. I don’t mean to sound creepy, Tina, but I know that if my life had taken a different direction early on, we would have cross paths long before you were a national treasure and, for all MY intents and purposes, untouchable. See? No matter how I try to sound casual and non-threatening, my insistence that we belong in the same social circle comes off as menacing. So, in an effort to keep your people from sending my people a notice of cease and desist, or —chuckling nervously— an order of restraint, I’m giving you a glimpse into my awesomeness by exploiting my bakery’s newsletter each quarter.

I promise, I’m totally great…

First of all, did you notice that I have a BAKERY?!

I mean, c’mon, that’s got to be worth a little trust. I make delicious treats such as cookies, cakes, and peanut butter cups. The state of Washington and City of Seattle trust me to run a business selling handmade treats to people, the least you could do Tina, is trust me to be your bakery-business-owning-best-friend or BBOBF.

Okay, I understand….too much too fast.

Let me tell you more about how I came from a Salt Lake City suburb called West Valley, to the owner of a tiny cottage bakery in the heart of a Seattle suburb called West Seattle. I was born in Salt Lake City at a hospital called Primary Children’s. The word primary comes from the LDS distinction for small, dyed-in-the-wool mormons who are indoctrinated from the womb. While I was born inside the whitewashed bubble of Mormondom, and I WAS born inside a hospital distinctly named for my intended destiny, I was not born into a strong LDS family. Make no mistake, my ancestors on my father’s side can be traced all the way back to the first murmurings of a new and ridiculously pretentious religious sect, by the time I was born, my particular personal patriarch had fallen far from the Tree of Life. Despite this, my early fundamentals were influenced - nay, tainted - by the Mormon Church and its heavy-handed existence.

More on those details in a later newsletter, this is all just to say that while I might have had an unlikely beginning, I have made a wonderful life for myself and my family in Seattle. I even spent a couple of decades working a corporate job as a project manager while I turned two small humans into two moderately tall adults. My husband of nearly 20 years is blossoming into a successful executive, and I chose to cast off the cubicle and bring sugar-coated whimsey to my community. So far, I’ve spent far more than I’ve made, but my satisfaction meter has registered in the green for many months now.